you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
