I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
