Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
