I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
