My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
honey bunches of taint.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
