so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
