what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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