I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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