i just wanna soil my oats bro
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
