I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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