If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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