i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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