Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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