She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
