i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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