You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
