I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
