We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
