dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
