i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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