question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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