It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
