I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
