i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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