idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize