Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
