I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
