I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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