In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
