I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
