After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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