i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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