Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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