He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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