I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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