I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
