I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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