I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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