Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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