i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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