Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
