I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
it glows. i had to have it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
