I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just pynch a tree in the face
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
