Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
