Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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