Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
