Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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