butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
