does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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