i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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