so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
