Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize