so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
