worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
