dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dignity is for republicans.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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