do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
