Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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