My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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