marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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