I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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