you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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