Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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