half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
