Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
