the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
