Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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