i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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