You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize